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Saturday, December 18, 2010

56. Gettin' 'itched

At 2 p.m. on Saturday, November 22, 2010 my cousin Leanne Kipping married Rod Treloar. The ceremony took place at the Wannon Falls Holiday Resort, in the shade of tall gums, on a day of 25+ degrees. It was a very laid back ceremony. Rod had asked me to be MC at the reception that evening; this also took place at the Wannon Falls resort.

Most of the guests stayed overnight, in the small cabins. It was a great function.

The poem, Gettin' 'itched, was the formal speech to the bride and groom.

Getting Hitched

I’m very proud that I’ve been asked today
To fill the role of being the MC
There’s lots of other handsome blokes around
I‘m tickled pink that they have chosen me
The groom said folk have come from near and far
Feel free to slake your thirst up at the bar.

Occasions such as this –the groom’s best man
Will normally deliver an oration
And tell home truth’s about the bride and groom
And bring to light embarrassing occasions.
The bride wasn’t too happy about this:
’bout how the best man and her handsome groom
Spent hours plotting – hours drinking piss
Out in the barbecue and drinking room
So she took action – Doreen’s lovely daughter –
Foxy can’t speak – says the restraining order.

The Bride & Groom

‘is name is Rod – a decent sort of bloke
Oo don’t pretend he’s something that he’s ain’t
Just fair and square, a lover of a joke
A devil sometimes, but at heart a Saint
He’s fond of footy, loves to puff a fag
In short, a true blue dinkum Aussie dag

‘er name’s Leanne, she’s Doreen’s little girl
But why is it that Rodney is so fond?
Is it her wealth attracts young Rod to ‘er
Or is it cos she’s such a smashing blond
Or is it, like the poet sez of old
They’re like a pair of twins, joined at the soul

It does our ‘earts much good to see ‘em wed
These two good mates who’ve been so close for years
There’s somethin’ that that gorspell feller said
[I tell you, it near moved a few to tears]
‘bout ‘ow, in stormy seas, love is the anchor
And if she holds you steady, Rod, you thank ‘er.

‘e said, “You’ll ‘ave your good times and your bad
Days when the seas are smooth, days when they’re rough
Days when your loved one drives you nearly mad
Days when you think, ‘I think I’ve had enough.’
But you can make it through – right to the end
As long as you remember to be friends.”

That’s what ‘e said. I reckon that he’s right
That’s sort of what I’ve learned from my experience
You’ll ‘ave your bright days and you’ll have dark nights
You’ll have th’excitement, and you’ll have the dreary-ance
But through it all – remember come-what-may
Your friendship and the vows yer made t’day

The Toast

And now I’d like yez all to raise your glasses
It’s time we drank a toast to Lee and Rod
So be upstanding - get up off your ...
seats please
And I am sure that you won’t find it odd
The toast is clear – it causes us no trouble
To drink our toast to this fine married couple...

Long may they live – long may joy fill their house
We wish ‘em well in all that life might bring
We thank ‘em for inviting us today
And I would like to end with one last thing:
Let’s hope that when October next begins
We’ll be singing: “When the Saints come marchin’ in.”

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