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Thursday, January 5, 2012

96. From the ARCHIVE: The Holistic Educationists' Song

The Holistic Educationists’ Song
To the tune of ‘The Philosopher’s Song’
With apologies to the Monty Python team
A work in progress

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant

Who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

Who could think you under the table

David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya

'Bout the raising of the wrist

Socrates himself was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will

With half a pint of shandy got particularly ill

Plato, they say, could stick it away

Half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle

Hobbes was fond of his dram

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart"I drink therefore I am"

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed

A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed

Jean Jacques Rousseau, as we all know
Thought children naturally curious
And society’s a corruptive force
It’s values are quite spurious
He wrote ‘Emile’ which many feel
Is a trifle unrealistic
But I’d go so far to say JJR
Is the father of Holistic

Holistic Education is the way to go
Make a start with Tobin Hart & Jacques Rousseau

Now Tobin Hart is a silly old fart
Who begins with ‘information’
He claims relevance can resonate
And result in motivation
Learn deep, grow soul, explore the whole
It’s in div id ua listic
Intelligence and imagination grow
That why this Hart’s holistic

Yes wisdom’s cool in Tobin’s school
He believes in transformation
A ripple can become a wave
And give us liberation
With a nice clear mind and strength of will
And a goodly dose of passion
With flag unfurled we could change the world
And fill it with compassion

Integrated intuition cultivates the soul
Tobin Hart thinks understanding makes us whole

Bernie Neville, that clever old devil
Is an intellectual bikie
He wants to Gebser-ise the world
And educate our psyche
Each morning he tells Helen
That’s it’s time to put the porridge on
And what is worse, he quotes chapter and verse of
The Ever Present Origin

Some people think that Bernie Neville’s rather odd
With his mental house that’s occupied by warring gods

David Orr was a bit of a bore
About sustainability
The interconnectedness of things
And the environment’s fragility
The fluorocarbons in the air
Are our responsibility
Recycle this, recycle that
And grow mental agility

Our rainforests are disappearing every day
Environmental education is the way

Pestalozzi claims that Love’s
Develops children’s powers
As the seed contains the design of the tree
So natural intelligence flowers
Educate the head and the heart and hands
Keep punishment down at zero
In the field of Holistic Education
He’s our Anschauung Hero

Change of tune to Carolina in the Morning
Oh nothing could be finer than to teach with Rudolph Steiner – he’s holistic
Let’s put aside our dreary stance, kids learn from their experience – he’s magnifique
Put away the textbooks, let the children play
Send them off exploring - that’s the most healthy way
Don’t give them the irrits, we should educate their spirits, so says Rudy

Don’t be too logistical, it’s best to holistical, like Rudy
Let them express their feelings and they’ll stop incessant squealing – won’t be moody
And now we come to what’s the most important part
Give them paints and crayons, educate through Art
Let them compose a ballad as they munch their Waldorf salad
Thank you Rudy.

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